Many thanks to Carol Mackenzie Weber for the following:


THE CLASS REUNION


> Every five years, as summertime nears,
> An announcement arrives in the mail,
> A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand;
> Make plans to attend without fail.

> I'll never forget the first time we met;
> We tried so hard to impress.
> We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,
> And wore our most elegant dress.

> It was quite an affair; the whole class was there.
> It was held at a fancy hotel
> We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,
> And everyone thought it was swell.

> The men all conversed about who had been first
> To achieve great fortune and fame.
> Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses
> And how beautiful their children became.

> The homecoming prom queen, who once had been lean,
> Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.
> The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,
> And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.

> No one had heard about the class nerd
> Who'd guided a spacecraft to the moon;
> Or poor little Jane, who's always been plain;
> She married a shipping tycoon.

> The boy we'd decreed 'most apt to succeed'
> Was serving ten years in the pen,
> While the one voted 'least' now was a priest;
> Just shows you can be wrong now and then.

> They awarded a prize to one of the guys
> Who seemed to have aged the least..
> Another was given to the grad who had driven
> The farthest to attend the feast.
>

> They took a class picture, a curious mixture
> Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.
> Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini;
> You never saw so many thighs.

> At our next get-together, no one cared whether
> They impressed their classmates or not.
> The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;
> By this time we'd all gone to pot.

> It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores;
> We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.
> Then most of us lay around in the shade,
> In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.

> By the fiftieth year, it was abundantly clear,
> We were definitely over the hill.
> Those who weren't dead had to crawl out of bed,
> And be home in time for their pill.

> And now I can't wait; they've set the date;Our sixtieth is coming,
> I'm told.
> It should be a ball, they've rented a hall
> At the Shady Rest Home for the old.

> Repairs have been made on my hearing aid;
> My pacemaker's been turned up on high.
> My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been boiled;
> And I've bought a new wig and glass eye.

> I'm feeling quite hearty, and I'm ready to party
> I'm gonna dance 'til dawn's early light.
> It'll be lots of fun; But I just hope that there's one
> Other person who can make it that night